Sometimes Writing a Letter is Easier

I think when you’re a deep thinker, it’s easier to pour our your emotions on paper rather than speaking. At least that’s so in my case. I clam up every time I have to speak in front of a group and it’s not your average nerves. I mean I literally get physically sick to my stomach.

When I have to attend board meetings for my job via teleconferencing and speak, I feel my whole body shaking. I can rehearse what I’m going to say a million times and still never get it out the way I saw it in my head. It can be quite frustrating especially when I need to apologize. It’s not that I’m afraid to say I’m sorry, it just never seems to come out with the intensity that I’m feeling.

It’s the same in my private life, I try really hard not to let tensions arise in my marriage. For me, it is imperative and vital that my hubby and I are getting along well and communicating with love. However, with that said, there have been times where I felt more comfortable writing him a letter than trying to talk through my feelings.

Sounds crazy I know…especially when I need to reconcile. It’s so hard to get my words out even to him. Also, I think that having a written letter means so much because he has something tangible that he can keep and re-read over again. I confess I do like writing love letters!

Poetry is another written art form near and dear to my heart. I’ve been writing poetry since I was a little girl and being transparent, it is so easy for me to write a poem expressing myself than to sit down and have a conversation. It could be my make-up or the gifting of creative communication that God gave me. Either way, verbal communication is a work in progress for me and sometimes Jesus wants to challenge me to improve rather than take the easy way out.