How to Keep Arguments from Getting Out of Hand

All married couples have disagreements and even arguments. Sometimes, my hubby and I have to temporarily "agree to disagree" until another time when we can really talk it out. This past weekend, we were challenged mightily to argue and I think it's because of the journey we're on. I can't go into that right now...maybe in a later blog post but for now, I'll share with you how we handle our emotions.

A lot of times when you're going through rough times, it could be health problems or financial, even having a baby...emotions tend to be more sensitive and prone to quick bursts of anger. It's really okay to feel frustration and even anger as long as it doesn't get out of hand leading to regret. I wonder how many jails are filled with people who weren't criminals but they're incarcerated because of an argument that got out of control. God knows how important it is that we keep anger in its place ("And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." ~ Ephesians 4:27-28 NLT)

And I'm sure we've all had times when we lost control and had to apologize. I know I have. For a long time, I struggled with anger and was prone to temper tantrums. I think one thing that helped me stop was having to clean up the room afterwards! I got tired of that! LOL! It's not always easy to control our tempers but hubby and I sat down earlier in our marriage and came up with this list:

  • We don't talk about stressful topics when we're tired. When I'm tired, I'm not in the mood for heavy discussions and neither is hubby. I'm liable to say the wrong thing without thinking so we wait until we're rested and pick a time/day to talk about it later.
  • We quickly apologize. Sometimes, you're in the middle of a discussion that is leaning towards a disagreement and you feel yourself getting upset. Out the mouth comes something negative. Hubby and I try to apologize as soon as we realize that we've said something the wrong way and we try to correct it. 
  • We don't talk about anything heavy before going to bed. That's just a rule we have, period.
  • If we can't come to a mutual decision, we table it and pray together about it. God is always at the center of our marriage and I'm thankful my hubby submits to Him and keeps Him first in his life.
  • We don't go away mad. Even if we do have an argument and either of us or both of us are upset, we don't stay angry with each other. We don't stop talking to each other. That is a NO-NO! We hug each other and we may have to talk about what got us upset later but we DON'T allow a wall to come between us. 
The enemy of our souls hates unity. He hates us putting God first in our marriages and he will try to intervene any chance he can. It's up to us to remember what the Bible says. It doesn't feel good to be angry with someone you love and live with. And, God doesn't operate where there's chaos and division. He wants us love each other as He loves us.


  1. Good advise. All married couples should have "Don't let the sun go down on your anger" in every room of their home. It's not always so easy in the moments of anger. Our emotions are often our biggest challenge. Knowing this is vital.

    1. So true! It is always a work in progress to keep our emotions in check. Thank God He helps us!