Jealousy and Its Ugly Head

Being transparent, I've struggled with feeling jealous and sometimes still do. It's that ugly head that surfaces when I see a friend get blessed with something that I have wanted but because of my own mistakes I can't attain it. Or... that lady that looks so nice in her outfit and that day I feel like a pig. I have found myself wondering how well off people live and it must be so nice for them to not have to worry about money. What I don't always realize is that nobody's life is perfect. I may be thinking that I want my hair wavy like the sister who sits two rows in front of me in church and she might be wishing her hair was straight!

The thing is...when I'm feeling jealous rather than happy for that person, I'm really complaining that my life is somehow messed up. And the weird thing is, I had a lady say to me that she wishes she was talented as I am. I thought to myself, "WHAAAAT?!" "How can she envy me? I don't have much at all to offer, I've been poor all my life and I've worked like a dog to accumulate the very basics. If she only knew!" But that's my point...the grass is never greenier on the other side. I think the reason jealousy is a sin and something God hates is because He wants to bless all of us individually. So, if we all had what the other has, then where is the uniqueness, the differences? God loves diversity, He made us all different in many when I envy another person's success or valuables, I'm really telling God He hasn't blessed me. And I know that's untrue. There are many blessings that have come my way.

Advice to myself: Instead of giving into that jealousy feeling, rejoice with friends, families, or strangers when they are blessed. And, if they have something I want or desperately need, bring it to God in prayer. Never let jealousy get out of control. Admit that it is sin, take to God and tell Him about it.

I'm glad I wrote this because I pondered over this for a couple of days whether or not I should share it. But, by bringing it out, maybe it'll help you if you struggle with envy too.  I want you to know you're not alone. We're in this boat together and The Lord so understands our weaknesses and He knows just how to help us :) God bless you!